jeans & beans
I said long ago that I would like to be left alone to eat butter and brown sugar by the spoonful and embrace the southern-ness in my heart and hips. But being a size 0, no one listened. No one ever listens to anyone who has non-numbers on their pants tags. It’s okay though, you can listen up: I’ve not been a 0 in years.
October always smiles at me with Pumpkin Spice Lattes and that blasted Cinnamon & Cream Cheese ‘Strudel’ dessert I make. Or breakfast, whatever. I bought a dress early November for a Christmas party. My husbands mouth literally fell.open. when I tried it on for him the first time. That had NEVER happened, so I was really excited to say the least.
I’m not completely sure what occurred after that. I have some vague ideas. I know of some comfort food that was floating around. Some kickin gravy that was made mid-November. A delicious number of latte’s & hot chocolates and … I tried on the dress a couple weeks before the party and clenched my jaw. I looked at Brian. He stared at me. Eyeballs moving, mouth closed. The extra pounds had not gone where I had asked them to. Oh, was I ever mad.
October, November and December have come and gone and now half the pants in my closet don’t fit. I split the butt out of a pair of jeans while bending over. In church. Thankfully I had on a long sweater…that was the Lord planning my wardrobe that day. Heat rose from my hips to my head so fast I got dizzy. Shock, awe, anger, and a few hours later, tears and snot. That’s about how that day went.
Brian came to the rescue and began planning our meals. Oh, how I love that man. But nearly two weeks ago, he started us on this new diet…where we eat BEANS 3 times a day.
I really can’t complain – he plans, shops and cooks nearly all our meals ….but I started having flashbacks… of pregnancy!
“Stop pushin your belly out!” he told me.
“I’m NOT! LOOK! I can barely see my TOES for cryin out loud!”
Mercy. It didn’t get any friendlier when he lost 6 pounds and I gained 3.
I remain incredibly grateful for him, and skeptical but participatory of this diet. I have now gained 3 and lost 5 and before you pick up your phone, mom, my goal is just to see those pants collecting dust in my closet – fit again. If they don’t fit by spring break, they’re headed out. But I’d like to think I have some pretty cool pants, so I’m motivated.
I’m off to eat more beans & spinach.