When the fingers don’t move

I have tried and tried to write for the past month to two months about things going on in my life. Things happening and changing within me. Things I’m learning. Realizing.

And I put my fingers to the keyboard and nothing happens.

I don’t even actually know why I started this post except that it might be somewhat beneficial to me, even if I just delete it in 30 minutes.

If we sat down for coffee or had lunch, I’d be excited to tell you about it all. The kids. The possibility of Christian school next year. Town Hall For Hope next week & Brian’s first mission trip coming up soon. What I’ve been learning at church that is literally transforming my thoughts and reactions and … everything. Which just overflows all over everything. It’s all just so good … and yet, perhaps it just feels like too much to write. And, where do I start? All year I’m celebrating my loved ones birthdays here on the blog, and I couldn’t even squeak out a post about my own daughter.

(By the way…if you know the “birthday boy/girl” on my blog post and want to leave some sort of words of affirmation or a story about them in the comments…PLEASE DO!! Everyone needs that!) You can click on the tag “Birthday Buddies” to pull them all up at once to back track if you want.

I worked a while on writing a new page called “Debt Is a 4-Letter Word“. It’s a pretty wide open story about our (but mostly my take on our) experience with credit cards and a life of excess. It’s probably the longest thing I’ve ever written and I cried a lot while writing it. Most were those grateful kind of tears, although some were of the pain of stepping back into those very moments where I thought my life was coming apart at the seams. Brian laughed at me because I quoted wikipedia, but I think I heard him sniffling too, so I forgave him. It’s a work in progress yet. The Lord has been reminding me of things throughout this week that I want to go back and add.

Over and over in my mind this week, I’ve been singing, “You are good, You are good, and your love endures…” And so it does.

Tomorrow I will attempt to tell you about my baking experiment with the girls over spring break. In this moment, I’m hitting publish and turning in. Brian seems to think the 9 o’clock hour is a magic one.

~ by hthr on April 16, 2009.

One Response to “When the fingers don’t move”

  1. Aww, lovely post. I couldn’t help but notice your love of coffee and Christianity (I think?) here. I was just wondering, have you ever read, “The Gospel According to Starbucks” ? It’s an awesome book sharing God through…yayness…coffee! ^^

    Give it a try and let me know what you think!

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