Things would be different with a nanny-cam

I was sitting outside this afternoon watching the kids play on their scooters. The promise of spring was resting on me. The sky blue, the kids excited. The air crisp, and in my head was an ongoing debate over whether or not I should open the windows throughout the house. Hthr-brain wanted to open it all, but housewife-brain reminded me that I had dusted & mopped floors today. I decided to wait on inviting in more dirt than necessary until tomorrow.

I have wrestled over and over with whether or not to look for a job. Not that the economy needs to entertain another job-seeker right now. And, not that I need to get one. Just that, I desire to be busy. I need to occupy my time.

Somehow, being a housewife, the dream of many, has become boring and frustrating. As a result, I have become lazy around the house and in doing the things that fall under my daytime wing.

When we were in Indiana this past summer, we visited with my Uncle Marv and Aunt Frieda.They aren’t really my aunt & uncle…but they are. Because where I come from, your parents closest friends are called Aunt & Uncle. Back when I was a kid, Aunt Frieda used to have me over when my mom was working. We had a grand ole time, everytime.

So when we visited with them this summer, they were meeting Brian and the girls for the first time. It’s wonderful to go back to a place that hasn’t really changed. The house. The people. Their mannerisms. It was as if nothing had changed, but instead of me sitting on Aunt Frieda’s lap, it was my daughter. It was a beautiful moment for me. At one point, Aunt Frieda looked at me and said, as only she could, “Soooo HEATHER. Tell me now…do you like being a housewife?”

“Yes!” I told her. It was a definite yes. Eager even.

I may never forget it. “Ohhh…that makes me so happy to hear you say. You know, so many young wives don’t enjoy it. They’re just lazy, Heather! They don’t keep up their house and they call their husband and say ‘get this at the store’ or don’t have dinner ready and want to just go out to eat…”

I’m pretty sure my heart sunk in that moment as I listened to her. As much as I do enjoy being home, I guess I’ve never treated it as I should. I don’t treat it as I would a job in the workplace and I know that. It’s more like an ongoing project. Mostly without any deadlines, so I get to it when I get to it, and hopefully when 4:00 swings around I have some idea what to whip up for supper that night and maybe I’ll text a few groceries I need to Brian. Maybe I’m good. Maybe I’ll ask him to call in takeout, pickup takeout and then we can eat and throw the dishes in the garbage. I’ll stop there because this list could run on and on and that would be embarrassing.

I’m pretty sure if I focused on my home like I would if I were paid to do it, it would run a bit differently. And I know if there were some kind of surveillance camera going, I’d have the cleanest, most organized house in the neighborhood because I learned early on: Don’t ever NOT be doing something. How else would I have learned about pneumatic tools and the wild world of HVAC motors? It was only between phone calls on the job.

I’ve come to the conclusion that a job outside the home is not in the cards for me right now. Dedicating myself to really loving and serving my family during the day while they are at work and school is what I am called to do. And do better. As unto the Lord…and maybe even as though Aunt Frieda were going to be checking on me too.

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~ by hthr on February 8, 2009.

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