Awkward moments abound. What else is new?

Be forewarned: it’s a girl post.

I asked my husband to stop at the store on his way home the other night and pick up my “monthly girl stuff” for me. Then I felt kind of bad for asking him to do such an awkward thing. Well, that and I thought if he did get the wrong thing and I had to return it that would be even worse. So I dug through all my purses and came up what I needed.

So yesterday, I went to my favorite store to lose money in (Target in case you’re already lost), and instead of going straight to what I needed, I went the entire way around the store making what I needed, the last stop. Like, an hour after the fact. And by then, my hand basket was full of valentines candy and impulsive i-cant-help-myself-its-only-a-dollar items from the front of the store. Ugh! Satan!

With my arm basket full, the needed boxed goods I went in search of ended up surfing the top of my overflowing candy basket. The “feminine hygiene” aisle is about as awkward to me as … hmm….oh yes, the condom section. I get very frustrated. I tend to stand there paralyzed by choices. And because of brilliant birth control methods, I haven’t had to visit either of thse aisles in the past 5 years. Oh, but I do now. And just like all the baby toys & bottles and all that is completely revolutionized in just the past 6 years since I shopped there, it seems that the tampon & pad industry has evolved as well. (I guess Trojan is still king and that is why there is no condom aisle, just a section of a side and that is all.)

So I just said screw it and bought the tampons that were on sale & a generic box of liners. The generic box was mostly white and screaming across it in bold black type on EVERY SIDE was the word PANTILINERS. Have I reminded you lately that I tend to be shy? No?

As I looked down at my basket, I saw 3 sides of the box and the full P-word 3 times. And I didn’t want to be trying to bury it all under the chocolate & marshmallows (why don’t they just stock some of that stuff on that aisle too? for real.) I pictured walking down that main aisle of Target toward the registers and I started squinting from the reflection of the lights hitting the white box and reflecting back at my face. I was sure I would feel like a bride on her wedding day, going down the aisle with everyone looking at her… Only this time with some girly goods in her basket instead of a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

My best option was definitely to take the back aisle all the way up and make my quick exit to the checkouts through the soap aisle. But don’t ya just know what happened? I saw someone I knew. Of course I did! And I can’t NOT say HI to a friend while shopping now, can I? In my head I was screaming “HEY! Happy freakin pantiliner day!” but instead I just brought up the kids  and other nice stuff like that. In retrospect, I should have just drop kicked the basket and looked for new mascara.

As if we couldn’t make it 24 more hours before entering another awkward moment in time, Taylor was really strugglin to get ready for school this morning, so we were running to the front door, grabbing coats so we didn’t miss the bus and then realized Avery was gone. So I yelled out and she was already around the side of the house (must be a full moon?), so Tay & I run out the door and it’s freezing so I just send them down to the stop while I watch, but Ave wanted me to stand right with her, so I went down there. One of the other mommies had driven to the stop from her house 3 doors down and asked if the girls wanted to get inside her heated car and stay warm until the bus came, so, it being – what? – 10 degrees? I thanked her and then realized that not only had I forgotten my coat, but had pulled a sweater over my pajama shirt and forgotten my bra too. So I stood there with my arms crossed in front of my chest thinking I was such an idiot but satisfied that we beat the bus. Success.

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~ by hthr on February 4, 2009.

4 Responses to “Awkward moments abound. What else is new?”

  1. I’m the same way. I hate buying ‘girl stuff’. Luckily, I haven’t had to do that in a while and don’t plan on having to do it for another while. (Thank you Mirena!)

  2. Heather, I laughed out loud at two separate parts of this post… but the absolute crescendo (is that how you spell it?) was when you wanted to drop kick the basket… that is SO funny! I know this is a family forum and all, but I had a similar experience last week with the his and her KY… damn that commercial, curiosity got the best of me! 🙂

  3. I so SO know what you mean! I hate buying those things. And I also get stuck in the dollar bin aisle at Target. That store is such a marvelous place. Anyways, your blog perfectly described my inner frustrations at the feminine product world. 🙂

  4. Hi my name is Chelsea and I am a Target-aholic! Kiss those little ones for me! How funny I found you again through my friend Renee’s site!

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