Once upon a mattress or five

You would think being debt free we’d be sleeping better.

I think we are, but only in light of less weighing on our minds.

Our backs, legs, hips, knees, necks … well, that’s a whole other story … remember when we sold our bed once-upon-an-awkward-moment when two strangers were curled up on it? It’s okay. We are the ones who said yes.

And honestly, sharing a full-size bed with my cute husband the past few months has been … cozy … and, a little fun. But you can only go so long with your ankles hanging off the end of the bed and not being able to roll over completely without rolling up onto the other person. And as if that didn’t sound enough like a night in a camping tent, our children still get in bed with us occasionally, in which case, no one sleeps well.

We are cautious not to complain too much to each other. It is what it is, however last Friday, having a lunch date with my hubby, the truth came out and we mutually agreed; it is time for a new bed.

I remembered seeing signs for a mattress store going out of business so after lunch I headed whichever way I thought it was and sure enough, there was a mattress store with a huge sale banner out front and the glass plastered with sale ads. I wanted to go in and check it out because – nighttime rest was far from restful, but then again, I totally didn’t want to start this. Mattress shopping? I could think of much more exciting things to shop for than a mattress.

But I went in the store anyway. A sea of white surfaces lay before me. To someone they were all unique. To me, however, at least at that point, they were all the same. And so I delved into the world of mattress shopping.

Riveting information I tell you.

I found myself wondering what it would be like to spend a day in a mattress store and observe how people test out these things. I was hesitant to “make myself comfortable” and debated how long I could lay there before I knew if I really liked it or not. Two minutes? Five? Ten?

I went for the two which felt more like ten because as I’m laying there this guy is talking to me about the construction of the mattress and asking me questions and I’m completely unsure because it’s just so awkward for me and normal everydayish for him. (Kind of like a trip to the gynocologist. I’m semi-mortified. They’re debating where to have lunch.)

Brian met me & the girls at the store when he got off work to see what I had found in my little solo shopping adventure a few hours previous. He & I both agreed on which we liked best and 2nd best. The salesguy urged us to lay down back down and see for sure. He just stood there and kept talking to us. Brian looked over at me. “You’re right. This IS awkward.”

Have you ever laid on a $15,000 mattress? Me either, but I kind of suspect my younger child was about to jump off of one when the other salesguy held the phone at arms length and told us to get our child down off the bed. I’m sure in her mind every mattress needs a jump test. They are always best completed however with a cape of some sort flying behind.

The guy should have known better, honestly, because shooing her off a safe, padded flat surface only sent her to the mattress spinning on its corner in the front window. She leaned across a futon to help spin the thing faster. Again, the guy could not complete his phone call, but we had no idea because we were horizontal in the back of the store. We lifted our heads off the pillows and looked all the way across the store to see her trying to spin this mattress like someone on the Wheel of Fortune. We tried not to laugh but failed miserably. We can be so immature. But at least our kids were quiet. We of all people should know that’s not always a good sign.

So, after raising the guy’s bloodpressure for the last time, we went home and thought about our potential purchase. On the 5th day, Brian woke up hurting, I woke up exhausted, and we knew we needed the bed.

So it has now been delivered, and man, is it ever awesome. You know, for a mattress anyway. The manufacturers “name” for the bed is “Landon” which was always a favorite we had picked out for a boy-child.

“Awww…” I said to my mom pointing at the big Landon tag attached to the mattress. She just looked at me, “Yeah well….just be careful that you don’t make a Landon on this bed!”

Good point. Mom is always full of helpful hints.


~ by hthr on November 24, 2008.

3 Responses to “Once upon a mattress or five”

  1. Geesh, you need to write a book! The way you describe things is hilarious, and yet I can totally relate. And that’s good news about the mattress…it’s always nice to wake up feeling rested and not sore. 🙂

  2. Oh come on. You know want to have a little boy before calling it quits. Just don’t let him know who made your bed. Having the same name as his parent’s bed could scar a kid for life.

  3. […] about it. (Also, i negotiated the price down by a lot of money, and he thought that was pretty hot. First the bed, now the […]

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