The next day

The next day I remade the cookies for Mrs. C and Avery. They turned out good. Still a little dark though. After all, I was waiting for the phone to ring! The woman calling to arrange the purchase of the Chest had said she would call by the end of the weekend and the hours were clickin by.

And they just kept right on clickin. Right into Monday. and Tuesday. and by Wednesday I was like whats up and why ain’t my phone a-ring-a-ling-in? I was really sad about it and in the back of my mind I was afraid this would happen. Thats why I didn’t put up the post in the first place.

Aside from the fact that Taylor and Avery are both in school everyday now and this was my first week flying solo. ever. I was bummed about this whole furniture scenario. And, while we’re at it…(boys, close your eyes or plug your ears or something & skip to the next paragraph) I had my first visit in 5 years from aunt-you-know-who and boy was she ever po’ed! (I promised my mom I wouldn’t cuss on my blog anymore. But you know what I’m say’in – right? right!) So I am beyond miserable and had forgotten what that part of be’in a woman was even like! Gah! No wonder Avery going to Kindergarten was ripping my heart out with a spoon! I didn’t even know what kind of train wreck was approaching from my fallopian tubes or however that all works (I missed that day in school).

Moving on, as my husband would beg me to: Since she hadn’t called, I started picking apart what I’d done wrong. Do you ever do this, or is it just me? I started with the phone conversation. I replayed it in my mind over & over &… She was excited. I was excited. Nothing was said that was half-hearted or inquiry-like. She wanted it. She “knew the piece” as she had said. I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t calling back.

So then I thought maybe God is disappointed in me. Maybe I’ve done some(many)things wrong since 1pm on Saturday that would have made Him change His mind about this all happening. Maybe instead of selling yet another big piece of furniture, I needed to have the garage sale to end all garage sales and be left with….less (which, is totally happening next month anyway). Or, perhaps I shouldn’t have had a glass of wine the other last every night this week. Or, maybe it is really frowned upon that my kids can sing to some of the KidRock Summer of 89 song. I would agree with that one for sure.

I questioned a lot more and did some (much) deeper soul searching. What it came back to was this…I didn’t think God was punishing me at all. I didn’t think the One who made me feel so loved and known would have allowed that phone call to happen – on that day – and then have that person drop off the face of the earth never to be heard from again. I just didn’t. I trust Him. I trust His timing. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I just kept waiting & believing.

And so then came Friday. Today. I stood at the bathroom mirror after getting dressed this morning and felt a strong impression to leave the makeup alone. “No makeup this morning.” *ahem* I know that didn’t come from me. But I had spent enough time already debating with Avery why she should eat her breakfast. I didn’t have time to debate makeup too.

I took the girls to school and came back home to take a stab at organizing my day. I brought the laptop to the kitchen table covered with stacks of papers. I sat down with a cup of coffee and opened my dayplanner. I feel like I’ve lost a week and needed to see what all I’d missed in the wake of Kindergarten tears and the revenge of the formerly pierced uterus. And my phone, sitting just 6 inches to the right of my hand, rang.

It was that shrill ring.

I’m tired both physically and mentally from my week. Emotionally, I’m absolutely exhausted. I’m sure the tone of my voice when I answered said it all too. “Hi, Hthr Willms” “Hi!! This is L calling about the Master Chest. I’m sooo sorry for not getting back to you … we ABSOLUTELY WANT IT!”

As she was saying her name, my mouth dropped in slow motion, but the tears spilled over the edges of my eyes so fast and furious I could not have caught them if I tried. If there had been makeup there before, it would be washed away by now. And somehow, my voice came back. It did not crack, it did not waver and she never knew the flood of tears that had just occurred on the other end of the phone.

But when I hung up, this silent house was silent no more.

There’s this part of me that wants to hold back and say It’s not over til its over. It’s not sold til its gone. And both are accurate, but I do believe without doubt that this is it. This is the end of a very ** I don’t have a good adjective for here right now ** a very big chapter of our lives. I take a risk in sharing it. I am not as authentic as I hope to be if I don’t.

They say “the best is yet to come” and I like to think that way too. But today, is a “best” day for us. And next week, we’ll have another. And so it goes … which is why I choose to celebrate today and live in these moments. Tomorrow, there will be more.

Thanks for sharing this journey with our family. It is no exaggeration that we are forever changed. More to come.


~ by hthr on August 22, 2008.

2 Responses to “The next day”

  1. I just did a little dance. I am SO SO SO pumped for you guys!!!! God is just so… timely 🙂

  2. for crying out loud! can you not let ANY OF US wear eye make-up either! 😀 I’m thrilled for you. (They were happy tears, of course…also tears knowing the pain and weariness that came before this “best day” that make it so much richer.)
    luv ya.

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