how facebook is messing with my mind.

If you aren’t on facebook yet, you should could be. Go make an account, and then come on back to find out how your mind is going to get twisted on there. Then you’ll understand this post better too.

Here’s the deal facebookers. I’m in the kitchen this afternoon making supper. I’m busy thinking about supper, stuff I have to do, things I’m looking forward to, and here’s what goes through my mind: “hthr is: making spaghetti for supper, just like her grandma made it when she was a kid.”

I look over at the coffee pot while waiting for the burners to heat up and instead of thinking “I cant wait to try that”, I think, “hthr is: anxious to try the organic ethiopian coffee!”

Then it dawns on me that I am thinking of myself in third person. I begin to fear for my mental health. I am proud that I have self control however the truth of the matter is, “hthr is: excited to see her brother next weekend for the first time in 9 years!” (thats truth y’all, I updated with that one yesterday! I’m beyond excited!)

My daughter walks in the kitchen looking for a snack and my train of thought goes, “hthr is: proud her kids were so brave at the doctor today!”


I noticed then that Tay’s hair was looking lighter and thought, “hthr is: tired after a day at the pool!”

If I didn’t have two burners going on the stove, I might have just gone and checked to see what all my friends were up to at the moment. There is a steady stream of status updates for curiositys sake always at the ready. I debated it. “hthr is” Hmm. “hthr must be a really boring girl”. “hthr is: not very cool.” Oh yeah, and “hthr is afraid her friends might agree with that statement.”

So my mind is warped. Thanks facebook.

But here’s where you can be grateful. I have pinky sworn with myself not to update my status more than once every 24 hours. Not because I’ve ever had a problem with it, but because I have friends on there that abuse it, and I am forced to think about them everyday every darn 2nd hour of the day.

Abuse it you ask? Well, yeah, thats a word for it. It’s a bold word for it, but its a word. I’m fairly sure that some of my bi-hourly friends are about to resort to bowel movement updates. The day that happens, I lose a facebook friend.

Now, there are some exclusions that apply: if you are at a rockin concert (thats for you CT), or you have something legitimately interesting to share about you or your life, I’m all for the regular updates throughout the day. I enjoy them. Thats one thing that makes facebook so darn great.

P.S…I’m not cool. I’m really boring.

~ by hthr on July 16, 2008.

9 Responses to “how facebook is messing with my mind.”

  1. Too funny. I just joined facebook and I hate it already, yet can’t stop checking in case someone sent me a freaking growing gift or something. What is UP with that?

  2. This is hilarious because i *JUST* got finished writing a post about Facebook. I joined last night and i don’t think this “relationship” is going to last very long because i just can’t commit to the multiple hours that it is daring to strip away from me. And yes, after a mere 24 hours, i too am beginning to think of myself in 3rd person. Are there support groups for people like us?! hahaha

  3. Brian is… “leaving the fan on after that one… Phew!”

    Freakin hilarious!!

  4. climbergal: i blocked that “save the planet chia pet garden” app thing altogether. everyone wants me to grow digital flowers or vegetables or whatever. I have a hard enough time keeping my kids clean & fed.

    lucky: yes there are, right here in the blogosphere!

    bdub: you’re walking a fine line there bud. i may have to research if anyone has ever dropped their hubby from their friends list. if you keep it up, i might be the first. xoxo

  5. okay, so I’m not on facebook and I already dealt with this thinking of self as 3rd person in my childhood. Yes, I used to end every conversation in my head with “he said” or “she said”…to the point where reading is no longer a hobby of mine and hasn’t been for…well I feel old saying it’s been 15 years since I was a “kid”. Thanks for the laughs!

    Maybe I’ll consider facebook for entertainment purposes. I’ve avoided it so far.

  6. I rarely update my status because I can’t think of anything interesting to say. I don’t want to be one of “those” friends.

  7. Thanks for the confirmation that I just can’t do facebook!

  8. I too have recently joined facebook. And just like luckylife13, I’m already thinking of myself in third person after only 3 days. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!

  9. Chris is: reminded that he needs to go update his Facebook.

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