The Rules For Posting a Craigslist Ad…..

I pulled up Craigslist tonight and this was the most recent thing listed in the furniture category…i needed a good laugh, and tonight, I got one!

1. Never include a photo. I love the suspense of driving across town wondering if the brown couch you have for sale is what I’m looking for. Will it be a mocha contemporary microsuede, or Grandma’s outdated 1960s velveteen? Only you know for sure, you sly dog! The fact that gas is $3.19 a gallon doesn’t even phase me, because it’s so much fun.

2. Always include a photo with your pet in it. This makes the chair much more valuable to me when I see it is good enough for Rover’s rear end to be on. In fact, my all-time favorite item was the pizza oven photographed in the back yard with the cat sitting on the part you put the pizza on. Mmmmm… Furry pizza.

3. Never tell people the dimensions of your item. If you tell them anything, make sure to use descriptive terms like “large” or “too big for our space.” That way they know for sure if it will fit in their own house.

4. Everyone knows that if you paid $500 for your table only 2 years ago, they shouldn’t mind paying $450 for your table on CL, because it is “like new.” Except that it’s used.

5. Don’t delete your ad once your item is sold. This way, you can get e-mails from hopeful buyers a month down the road, and reply to each one that you sold your item. If you’re too busy for all those emails, you can just edit your ad to say your item is sold. That way, people can still see the pretty picture of an item that they could have bought, had they been here 45 days ago. Neat, huh?

6. Last but not least, don’t let your creative use of the English language deter you from using CL. Who’s to say your table is wrought iron instead of rot iron? You’re the owner, you should know! Who are they to tell you if you’re selling a shabby chic table or shabby sheik table? It may very well be a table owned by a poorly dressed foreign leader! Could be. Because you didn’t post a picture.

And yes, I know I will get flagged, but if one person here smiled, then my work here is done.

I only have one thing to add: If you do see the dimensions in my post and you know the item won’t fit in your little car, don’t play dumb about it. And when I bend over backwards to deliver it (because thats what gazelles do when they are in a full fledge sprint) I’ll appreciate it if when you go into the house for 10 minutes to dig up the change out of your couch to pay me with, you actually come back out of the house rather than send someone else out to tell me (after 10 minutes mind you) that it’s “just not gonna work for you”. Seriously.

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~ by hthr on March 14, 2008.

5 Responses to “The Rules For Posting a Craigslist Ad…..”

  1. I want to listen good music!

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  3. Indeed great article, by the way I wish to share this. I love to go to church but sometimes it is not possible for me to visit church but our church has software by which I can be in touch with them anywhere, anytime. It is really wonderful to get in touch with church & other member. I think our church use Congregation Builder’s church management software .

  4. So True!!!!!
    And to this I would add:
    “Must Take All” ???
    Do I REALLY have to haul away your entire mountain of useless crap you have been hoarding, so that I can have the “free” coffee pot?
    Dic*head….

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