hiccup

All’s quiet on the blogging front here at the Williams’ home. Brian is silent for the sake of being both busy and tired. But also because we just got Netflix back so we’ve been watching movies this week. I could tell you all kinds of great things I’ve been up to, like hanging out with friends at the pool and finding great bargains at the mall and Targ*t (and let’s not leave out ebay!) Today we got a Tennessee tag on the Durango so I guess we’re official Tennesseans now (a year and 3 months later!) My New Years resolution to get our household uber-organized by the end of June has all but flopped, however I found a loophole (in my deal with myself, right?) where I don’t have to include time we’ve had friends & family here overnight, so I get to add 5 more weeks to my goal. sweet!

Taylor starts Kindergarten in 7 weeks and 3 days. To say its been on my mind a bit is an understatement. I told Brian it would be really nice of him to get a gift for me for that first day of school so I would feel better, and then I emailed him a link of what I thought that gift could be. (I know – it’s ridiculous. Welcome to Brian’s world.) He told me he’d take the day off so we could go home and cry together (or at least, thats what I thought I heard him say). I’m trying to keep busy with thinking of other things like….anything but Kindergarten.

Brian tells me pictures are great things to add to blogs to break them up a bit, so here’s a pic of the family recipe taco salad I made this week. Although I have a lot to learn, I love photographing food. I think food is beautiful and complex and we don’t enjoy it enough visually before eating it.
taco salad

When I’m driving, the most interesting things come to mind, and yet I lack a pen & paper, much less a keyboard to notate it. And then generally, when I stop and turn off the car, the busy-ness of shuffling kids out of their carseats and into the house causes all these lovely thoughts to escape. Most often, it’s like a balloon roaming free in the sky. You just can’t get it back.

I dug out one of my favorite devotional books yesterday. I say ‘dug’ because I really did have to go digging. It’s been a long while since I’d gotten into it. There is, as our pastor Jamie would say, a disruption in my spirit right now. I have felt God tugging at my heart and beckoning me to invest more time in my walk. And yet, I have chosen to push away from it. Fortunately, He continues to relentlessly pursue my heart.

I have been battling many emotions and struggles and posed many questions in my mind lately and so finally, nearing brokenness and on the verge of a deluge of tears, I picked up the devo journal and dusted off my Bible yesterday afternoon. I didn’t know what the Lord might reveal to me, and truthfully, was afraid I just might not ‘get it’ if He did. But as I followed along, these few verses stood out to me, and brought great comfort and reassurance, very simply that He is there. He is here. He hasn’t left me and He’s waiting on me. And then I realized, that in my childish rebellion, I have very truly missed out on things He wanted to reveal to me. And so, I start again, grateful for a Father who never leaves or forsakes, and keeps His arms open wide. Even for kids like me, who need a smack now & then.

From Psalm 25 (The Message), “God-friendship is for God-worshipers; They are the ones he confides in. If I keep my eyes on God, I won’t trip over my own feet. Look at me and help me! I’m all alone and in big trouble. My heart and kidneys are fighting each other; Call a truce to this civil war….Use all your skill to put me together; I wait to see your finished product!”

Discipline has been a word on my mind a lot lately. Self Discipline. Spritual Discipline. Financial Discipline. I am challenged in every aspect. But I am ultimately encouraged by this from Hebrews 12. “Have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live?”

Maybe “Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else” applies to more than financial matters.

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~ by hthr on June 28, 2007.

2 Responses to “hiccup”

  1. Great post Heather – I admit you are way more transparent than I’m willing to be on the www. First I want that taco salad recipe, if it’s online you should link to it. I can now comfortably look at your food pics!>!> I can totally relate to your “pushing away” from God’s call. Seems I’m always fighting that battle for some reason. And I love the verse above about “trouble isn’t punishment, it’s training – the normal experience of children.” That’s such a new & interesting thought. Thanks girl, you’ve challenged me to dust off my Bible now too.

  2. keep taking pics of your food. i share your love of food, and it makes me hungry just looking at that taco salad!

    love the last sentence, too. makes sense that it applies to all aspects of life b/c it truly is a biblical principle, not something dave just made up to tag onto financial matters.

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