Mama said there’d be days like this

Maybe I just needed a good cry – it’s been more than a month since any non-allergy related tears fell off my face, so I guess I was due. My day started like most others as I told Brian I would get up to have coffee with him and then rolled over and slept another hour. I always feel bad when I wake up and the coffee pot is on and he is gone.

After a couple cups of coffee (alone) I finally got moving both physically & mentally and started cleaning house. My parents arrived and I quickly showered and was almost on my way out the door when Brian called. Brian hardly ever calls, so I knew something must be up. “Did you take Taylor to Kindergarten Testing? (silence) Hello? Heather are you there?” I just stood there. Very literally – my mouth hanging open and my eyes focused on the woodwork around the window. I forgot to take Taylor to her appointment. Its been on the calendar for over a month already – and I missed it. I felt deep regret for my lack of organization (organization I’ve been so fervently working on, which really only makes this worse!)

Well, I rescheduled K-Testing and headed out to the grocery store. I was mad. At myself of course. I was having a pity party in the produce section but as I approached the green beans I said to the stocking lady in my best attempt at my [I’m mad, but not at you, so i’ll attempt to sound pleasant] voice, “Good Morning” (I wouldn’t ask “How Are You?” as previously blogged about…that ranks high with self-irritating behavior). However, this nice lady kept minding the lettuce heads and said it to me. “How Are You?” No eye contact. No nothing. My blood pressure rose and she continued on methodically with the lettuce. I stood silently while I checked the beans, and then chose some and walked away, my jaw now most likely visibally clenched as I white knuckled the shopping cart. I was mad before, but now I was taking silent issue with the lettuce lady.

I proceeded on to the bakery where I was sure to find comfort food so desperately needed already at 10 a.m. When I got back home and made the coffee cake offering to my parents, they told me that they were going to be heading back home to Florida after coffee. I knew they were leaving today – but I really didn’t want them to leave. We’d had such a wonderful week together….probably one of our best visits ever….and it was ending. Ahh yes, everything must come to an end. Cue the tears and they didn’t stop for a very long while.

When I’m upset I feel the urgency to clean house. So, when my parents left I mopped my floors, dusted, and all the rest. My best friend Jean was already en route from Georgia with her kiddos to be with us for the remainder of the week. I was so very excited for them to arrive and it totally changed my evening once they did. But man – where do these days come from? How is it that these moments make me want to run away to some quiet place and the best I can do is Publix? God, I know more days like these are imminent but please, please keep them at bay for a while! My happy face is back on, but my eyes are still burnin.


~ by hthr on June 12, 2007.

One Response to “Mama said there’d be days like this”

  1. Nice blog, I think you have written this article very well, you bring up some solid information. Thank you for sharing this information with me I really do appreciate it. Keep up the good work. Look forward to seeing what else this blog has to offer. =) TY for taking so much time working on such a great blog.

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