Keyword: MY Time

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I’ve been a little fidgety today and I don’t think the coffee is to blame. I was sitting with the laptop, the girls next to me on the couch this morning when I received a call. It was our realtor and family friend calling about our house in Bradenton…still for sale…no lookers, no callers…what to do? Immediately my mind went all over the place. I didn’t say much because I needed to process this. In my mind though, I thought, what in the world are we going to do to sell this house? How’s this all going to work out exactly? Have we jumped the gun in moving here? An immediate “NO!” sliced through that thought.

I began pacing the house. I grabbed a hammer and started hanging pictures, hoping I might find a stud in the wall and get to hit it really hard to release a bit of my frustration. My mom called as I was doing this and listened to me rant on about it and then just said, “Maybe you should go back and read your blog again.” Leave it to mom to make it better. She is one of very few people who can talk me through something and at the end leave me feeling like I can handle it – not just put a patch on it.

As I finished up my little wall project, my mind raced back to a day last month when I was packing at our house and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I was on the phone – on hold – and inside I was screaming, “I hate this! I hate moving! I don’t like a mess in my house! All of this craziness and I don’t even know where I’m going! AAARRGGH!” And then of course, it was silent. I stared down at my countertop, a voice – you know The One – clear as a bell said to me so as not to be misunderstood, “I did not call you to be comfortable.” If you could have seen me, my brows furled down pretty tight and my lips were pressed together so hard they may have disappeared completely. I hung up the phone because whatever I was waiting for really didn’t matter anymore. I had just been put in my place. I knew right then that He was not talking only about the mess of stuff around me.

The Lord reminded me that day that I am not here to be catered to. When the Lord has a plan for us, He doesn’t ask us what would make US feel best or how can He pamper us today? Jesus wasn’t comfortable up on that cross but the big picture proves its necessity. If we are here on earth to give glory to the Lord, which I believe that is our purpose, then I can praise Him today that He is preparing a buyer for our home. The keyword there is ‘preparing’ – because we’re on His time and evidently, the time is not right yet.

My cousin sent me a lighthearted email this morning and first it made me laugh – then it made me cry (happy tears, of course). It said:

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter.
Someone’s house will be bigger. Someone will drive a better car.
Someone’s children will do better in school.
And Someone’s husband will fix more things around the house!
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.

Oh, it’s just so true. No matter how hard we try, sometimes letting it go and accepting what is, is the best (& only!) thing to do. Even though I’m squirming now, I know that I will look back on this with a better sense of understanding someday, and then, the pieces of the picture will come into better focus and I will give praise to the Giver of all Good Things. Sometimes He gives lessons and sharpens us rather than providing foot rubs to make us more, what was it? Oh – comfortable!

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~ by hthr on April 20, 2006.

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