Having a Ball in Tennessee!

girls playing in yard
Saturday was a gorgeous day and we played in the ‘Kentucky Bluegrass’ in our yard for the first time since moving here two weeks ago! The girls are adjusting well to their new surroundings and mommy is taking it all in, in her usual easy-does-it, lets-not-rush-it manner!

This morning in church I found myself overwhelmed with emotion. Part of it was Easter momentum, but truly I just felt right with the world. No, no – everything is not perfect. But I was able to recognize that my stuggles are the same as other folks and the comfort I felt in that moment was extraordinary – it was as though God gave me a hug and assured me that I am far from alone. The pastor at the church we were visiting shared that (I’ll paraphrase here what I took from it) he sometimes feels like just running and saying ‘forget it, I’ll go back home. maybe this was not the right idea’ and another pastor was expressing ‘i’ve got 2 mortgages! what am I doing moving my family to a church plant?’ – and I get that. I get both of their emotions. Earlier this week I had a ‘what in the world am I doing?’ kind of day – and then Brian came home having had nearly the best day ever – and I just wanted to bawl my eyes out because – when has my husband ever come home happy from work? Until now…and that made it all worth the fears and anxiety of a new place and the fact that I had no pan to fry dinner in and no spatula with which to flip it.

So my Easter service emotion was very much of a “Thank God I’m not alone in my fears”. The pure excitement that God is doing something today in my life that will totally blow my mind tomorrow causes tears to flow. I realize of course that ‘today’ could be this month or this year and tomorrow is the day I ‘get it’ since life is made of seasons that are not depicted by a calendar year or temperature or color, but maturity, growth, hurts, victories and ah-ha moments. Where we’ve been…where we are…where we are GOING! (Hopefully not out of state again!)

There are times when I’ve thought that our time spent in Georgia was a waste of time and breath and energy and it made me angry because I loved it there so much and we only stayed a short while. But when you look at the whole picture (the WHOLE picture – yes it’s a complicated one) then I realized that we had to go there, to get here! It’s part of our story. And when I look at it that way – I wouldn’t change a thing! Fact is, one of my very closest friends is there and after almost 3 years of being 500 miles apart, it is still a wonderful close friendship – altered yes, and not how I would have it if it were mine for the choosing – but aren’t phones & email wonderful things? The Lord puts people in our lives on purpose. And what if we’d never found NPCC? I just don’t want to imagine, really! Andy Stanley & Louie Giglio’s messages have touched our hearts – sometimes piercing them, sometimes comforting, oftentimes confronting – and in a world all abuzz with media vying for our attention, truly, who’d a thought I’d prefer to curl up with a sermon DVD & a cup of coffee? The music we came to know and love there led us to worship our God in ways I’d never known or felt or expressed. I learned that I didn’t just have to go to the church building to worship. I could worship in my car and at my house and I probably won’t long forget raising my hands in worship at a stoplight because I was so deeply enamered and in awe of my God. I for once didn’t care who was next to me or what they thought – because One Day – they will fall on their face before Him too.

So it’s been a trip, and it’s only just begun. And that’s why I was so emotional this morning. I know where I’ve been and I have no idea where I’m going. But the past 4 years have rocked me inside – emotionally, mentally, spiritually – and I continue to be molded and crafted and I pray this renewal never stops.

The past 9 months since we discovered Financial Peace University have challenged me to new heights and shook me at the core. For me, this was not just any class and it was not just about money. It hit me where it hurt and I really did just need a kick in the stomach so I’d stop & listen. And the neat thing was, when I stopped to listen – really listen – He spoke to me. It was more of a whisper, but I assure you it was unmistakable. Sometimes we just need to slow down and look around. Reevaluate. Relinquish control. Ask, Wait, Listen…be ready…Cry Out…He will come and hold you in your storm.

At the end of our life, the Lord won’t inquire as to what the label said in the back of our clothing or what neighborhood we lived in. We will spend eternity in the glory of His presence and I strongly suspect, we will never look back to this thing called life. Louie Giglio makes the analogy that in the scope of eternity, our lives here are nothing but a 5 second blip. A breath. Literally – really – everything we make out to be a big deal and be important, materially speaking, is just nothing. If my life is a blip on the radar, I gotta make it matter. Drapes can wait. No need to obsess about the paint on the wall. I gotta glory in His Name. I gotta share that joy – that peace – that he has put in my heart because He knows all things! Nothing gets past Him or goes unnoticed. He knows what’s in my refrigerator. He knows what’s in my bank account. And tonight I rest well, because He knows that we have a home that needs to be sold, and when I cried out He whispered to me – “They’re coming – in My time”.

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~ by hthr on April 16, 2006.

One Response to “Having a Ball in Tennessee!”

  1. […] started blogging within two weeks of moving to Tennessee back in April 2006 as a way to keep our friends & […]

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